Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

OK just when you think you’ve heard it all.


Too wierd huh? Now all we need to do is ask them about their political affiliations!


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Before I get too carried away this morning  I want to give props to a fellow (or sister as the case may be) blogger Madamab who also loves satire and like me seems to be able to sit on ice cream and tell what flavor it is. (That means I’m a smart-ass and sorry Madamab I guess I just called you one too but I meant it in the most sincere and admiring way!)

There is a link to her latest below. Too funny! Here’s a favorite line or two of mine from this piece. Just to give you a little taste and whet your appetites!

BRAZILE [faux-fended]: For Pete’s sake, Hillary, what the hell am I doing here? I’m neutral! How could I be guilty? Don’t you know I work for CNN?

[Brief pause]

ALL except BRAZILE: HAHAHAHAHA! [BRAZILE glares at everyone, then slowly breaks into a grin and laughs along with them]

HILLARY [wiping her eyes]: Whew! Thanks for the laugh, Donna. That really broke the ice! [returning to seriousness] Okay, are we ready to get down to business?

I LOVE IT! And then there’s this:

OBAMA [offended]: Who, me? Are you kidding? I AM the Democratic Party! I moved the DNC to Chicago! I’m Obama for America! And besides, everyone loves me. Yes, I can!

HILLARY [unable to keep silent]: Oh, for god’s sake, Barack, you don’t believe your own propaganda, do you? Save it for your deluded worshipers in the blogosphere!

AXELROD [aside to Obama]: Yeah, Barack. I told you that most of those [makes air quotes with his hands] “anonymous supporters” work for me anyway.



Sigh! If only we would get to hear Hillary REALLY SAY THIS TO BARKY! Do yourself a favor and check out the rest of the play. Unlike me, Madamab seems to know how to spin a yarn AND keep it short and sweet. I think yours truly could learn a thing or two about that!

This one is quite a hoot as well. I’ll restrict myself to one quote just because I loved it so much I can’t NOT quote it!

BOLTEN [jumping in]: Yes, sir, it sure is! Anyway, what the Vice President is saying, is that the Democrats nominated the one guy who couldn’t win this year. The Democratic base doesn’t like him, and he’s managed to piss off a lot of people so much that they started their own movement.

BUSH: Oh yeah – that PUMA stuff. Can you believe that some morons think those PUMA idiots are Republicans? We wouldn’t stand for that shit in our house, would we Turd Blossom?

[KKKARL ROVE steps out from behind a curtain.]

ROVE: No, we sure wouldn’t. The idiots in our party wanted Huckabee. We put a stop to that crap right away.

I agree with Dick. The Democratic Party won’t win the White House in November. We’ve got our ads all ready to go – we’re just waiting in case the Democrats come to their senses and nominate Hillary.

HAHAHAHA!!! Here’s the link to the rest. Enjoy! 



OK! Emergency avoided! Wheew!

Now that I’ve got that under control I’ll get back to the point. You will not hear this in the media. You won’t hear it said in public unless it is spoken in hushed wispers. You won’t hear it from the DNC that I absolutely assure you! Having said that I’m going to say what most of us, especially those of us who are PUMAS already know. THIS IS NOT OVER YET!

The Denver Group   http://thedenvergroup.blogspot.com/ and PUMAPAC http://blog.pumapac.org/ as well as many other groups are doing everything they can to get Hillary the respect she deserves in Denver by demanding that her name be on the ballot and the traditional Roll Call takes place. If you can do anything to help in any of these efforts please do so. I will also say that if they DON’T GIVE HILLARY THE RESPECT SHE DESERVES AND HAS EARNED there will be a hefty price to pay! We Hillarycrats won’t riot or burn the city or anything as unseemly and immature as that.

No, instead we will systematicly vote out every Democrat who did not support Hillary, Fair Reflection, the will of the people and the core principals of the Democratic Party! Every Democrat who tried to gloss over the inconvienent reality of the situation and instead tried to force this faux-unity crap down our throats all the while recieving what amounts to the political version of a blowjob (cabinet positions, fundraising ect.)  in exchange for their loyalty to the standard bearer of the “New Marxocratic, ooops, I mean Democratic Party”

In addition I feel fairly confident that Hillary will take the MI/FL decision to the credentials committee regardless because, hang on Obamabots if you’re listening, because IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO! Yup! That’s right! Hillary will stand up for those voters who did their civic duty (Some Obama supporters may not know about this as Civics is unforunately no longer taught in school.) and voted their concience for President for which their “reward” was being told that their vote didn’t count or at least didn’t count for as much as everybody else’s votes and oh, by the way since one candidate removed himself from the ballot the RBC decided that the votes that were cast should be altered to reflect votes that weren’t cast! This has to be the most undemocratic, uninspired, and frankly the most unintelligent decisions the party has ever made!

I think Hillary will fight for them as she has always fought for all of us. I think she will fight for their rights because in spite of all the heat she has taken for it, Hillary has always fought for what is right and fighting for Florida and Michigan to be treated fairly and with respect is what is right.

So for all those unity pushers who think they can threaten us or smooth us over or better yet try to ignore us think again sweeties, it aint over till it’s over! You cannot win votes with the above mentioned tactics. In fact you are doing the exact opposite. More of us than before say we won’t vote Obama and our numbers continue to grow fueled by his arrogance and that of his supporters. If you think you can win without us then you truly are delusional. There are 18 million of us who know your guy is a fraud, an empty suit, in short a loser.

Come to your senses people! Delegates! Abort this fary-tale with no chance of fruition that is the Obama Campaign! Back away from the cool-ade before it’s too late! You’re country needs you to do the right thing! Get Hillary Clinton nominated and elected! She can win! We need her! With Obama we are doomed!

PUMAS know this and they are working behind the scenes and PUMAS are not republicans I assure you. PUMAS are the core of the party, the people who vote and fight to protect us all! PUMAS are smart enough to know that advertising is usually created to attract and distract as in make you think this new thing is just what you need and don’t look at this it’s a work in progress you know, unfinished and all that. Hey looky over here instead!

PUMAS know real meat (substance) when they see it! Clinton has plenty of subtance and the fortitude to stand when others fall back. (FISA anyone?) She’s the real deal and if she’s not the nominee the party will regret it. Obama will lose and we will have 4 more years of GOP in the Whitehouse. NOT what I or any other democrat wants but at least the devil we know is better than the devil we don’t. I shudder to think about an Obama presidency. What that would do to our country, how many of our rights would he pander away for his own agenda? Would this country even be recognizable? I doubt it. We’d all be wearing brown shirts and jack boots in no time.


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https://caffinequeen.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/hansel-and-gretel-tale-of-the-lost-children/ Part 1




When we last saw the children Geretel was being led away by Hansel as his followers were pushing the poison, mind control cool-ade on the other children and getting quite drunk on it themselves.

Most of the children were quite drunk and they all fell into a deep sleep. Morning was bound to bring some headaches and regrets!

Meanwhile Hansel told Gretel that they had taken care of the cool-ade situation and they had come back to the camp very late to find everybody already in bed. Hansel said he had instructed them to get a good night’s sleep for the meeting and the subsequent journey would take strength and determination. Gretel smiled and said how responsible that sounded but she had a feeling that something was not quite right. She didn’t know what to make of this new, helpful Hansel and she was not too sure she could believe it. In fact she was fairly certain that Hansel was up to something but she was tired and tomorrow was a big day so she decided to go to sleep.

As the morning sun rose the children slowly began to wake. As predicted many had headaches and some were embarrassed by the memories of the night before. Some children must have drank alot of the cool-ade as they appeared to be still drunk! They were running from hut to hut rudely waking the others with loud chants of “Hansel for Change! The New Path is The Right path! Hansel is THE ONE!”

Instinctively, Gretel knew that Hansel had lied to her, he had promised his followers would dump out that cool-ade! She should have known better than to trust him! As they finished their breakfast they began to gather for the meeting. Everyone was shouting at once and no sense could be made of any of it! The decision was made to pick several children from each side and have the debate among them as it would simply take too long to hear from everybody.

Hansel and Gretel began to choose their teams trying to pick as wisely as possible. After this was done the chosen teams began to discuss the situation.

On Hansels’s team were Howie, Donna, Nancy and Harry and a handful of his most trusted supporters.

Terry, Harold, Tina, Flo and Mich and the rest were loyal Gretel supporters through and through. As the meeting began it was apparent that Hansel’s team had no intentions whatsoever to play fair. Their first order of business was to suggest that Flo and Mich had somehow broken some rules and would not be allowed to participate.

Gretel and the others demanded to know what rules were broken and said that Flo and Mich were just as important as anyone else here and they should get an equal say in the debate.

Hansel’s defenders replied quickly if rather vaguely there was a rule somewhere and they knew it had been broken somehow by Flo and Mich and letting them have a say would be punishing those who didn’t break the rule! When questioned again as to what rule how and why and by whom it had been broken Hansel and the rest brushed off the coments  and stated that they simply would not accept any imput from Flo or Mich. Period.

The children began arguing back and forth and the shouting beacme louder and louder. Then it was decided that a vote was needed on the Flo and Mich situation before any further discussions took place.

There was a long  debate about whether or not Flo and Mich had really broken the rules and whether or not it was their fault. They were after all, under Repugnican control when all of that happened.

After much argument the children decided to break for lunch as all this discussion was making them hungry. After lunch they voted and Hansel’s team had obviously been distributing Cool-ade during lunch because after all was said and done the decision was that Flo and Mich could participate but would only get a half vote each and the kids who voted uncommitted were to be counted as if they were votes for Hansel’s New Path idea and would be counted as such and not only that they decided to take 4 kids from Gretels team and change those votes to Hansel’s new Plan too! After all, Hansel surmised if he wanted to lead this journey out of the forest he was going to need all the help he could get! Too bad Gretel was watching or they could pass out some more cool-ade!

After the long hard fight over Flo and Mich came the next battle, the decision to take Gretel’s proven path of policies or Hansel’s New Path of Change. It was a long, drawn out debate that seemed to go on forever. At every turn Hansel and his followers tried to bully the others into giving in and going the new way. They tried everything. They called them racists, they called them cry-baby girls, they said Gretel was stupid and un-trustworthy and that she would lead them into danger.

Gretel said that was ridiculous and that she merely wanted to take the children home and make sure everyone was taken care of! She reminded all that she was the one who had led Hansel into the forest and to the gingerbread house where the Repugs had been holding the children hostage. She reminded them that she had known how to get them out and how to find food, shelter, firewood all the things they needed to survive. Not only that but she had fought the Repugs before many times and had always managed to hurt them and get away. Hansel had never fought Repugs. He didn’t even know they were just out of site watching right now! If we follow Hansel and his New Path we don’t know where we will end up and we don’t know that we will be safe from the Repugs.

Howie and Donna and Nancy and Harry began shouted that Gretel was devisive and called for her to step down. Donna said she cheated according to Donna’s Momma’s rules. The rest of Hansel’s kids were calling Gretel and her supporters all kinds of nasty names and saying that they didn’t matter. Only Hansel and his New Path mattered to them.

Harold and Tina and some of the other Gretel Kids fought hard but in the end even though Gretel had more children on her side Hansel and his bullies won. They decided they would begin the trek in the morning down the new path! Gretel and her kids tried to talk some sense into them they tried interventions on some of the cool-ade addicts but in the end it was useless to try. Hansel was power crazed and would let nothing and no one stand in his way.

Howie, Donna and the rest began trying to get the other kids to change sides. It’s best for us all to stick together on this. Unity and all. If you still don’t want to well that’s ok. We don’t need you anyway they said. We have a New Leader and a New Path. We don’t need Gretel and her suckers anyway! Gretel and her kids would not budge though. They knew the only way to get home safe and sound was to follow the trail of policies that Getel had laid out for them. The trail would lead them straight home! They were NOT about to follow Hansel down some trail that lead to who knows where! not now and not in a million years! They were going to stick around and see what Gretel would do. They would follow her home. They trusted her. They knew she would not lead them astray. Gretel was and is a true leader they said.

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https://caffinequeen.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/hansel-and-gretel-tale-of-the-lost-children/ Part 1



When we last saw our group the fighting about which way to go and who to follow was well under way.  There was a meeting planned to discuss and decide on what the course of action was to be to get them out of the forest, back home safely and to avoid the inevitable Repugnican booby traps hidden in the forest.

Hansel and his group began plotting for the comming meeting ever determined to take the new path of change that Hansel so stridently proclaimed was the one, true way.

Meanwhile Gretel being the smart, practical girl she is began organizing the remaining children and delegating responsiblities. After all, Gretel knew they would need food, water and a safe shelter for the children if they were to make it through this forest.

She sent the children out in groups to gather food, water, firewood and she took some children with her to help scout a safe spot to spend the night.

Hansel laughed at Gretel and her “worry wart” attitude. He told the others that it was good she was wasting time with all that stuff instead of planning the take-over of tomorrows meeting like he was doing!

HANSEL: “Well it just shows how like the Repugs she is! Worrying about shelter and supplies! Did you hear the warning about the possible booby traps in the forest? I mean what is that all about?”

In the meantime some of the other children had come back with the news that a good spot had been found to spend the night! Gretel had sent them back to direct the others there and to tell Hansel and the others to come help set up as supplies were being taken to their new camp. They excitedly reported it was next to the stream so no one would have to carry water and there were lots of berries and roots for a stew too!

Hansel and the kids grumbled. They were angry that Gretel wanted them to help move to the new camp. They had plots to hatch! They were hungry however and the stew and berries were sounding pretty good so they reluctantly began gathering things and heading toward the camp.

When they arrived many of the children were already building make-shift huts and gathring leaves from the forest floor to sleep on. Others were bringing roots and berries and someone had trapped some wild chickens that were being prepared for dinner. Hansel and group sat down and started asking how long until dinner was served. The other children simply said that if they helped it would be much sooner and there was more hut building to be done as well.

Hansel and his group scoffed at that idea. After all they were the intellectual ones, the ones with the vision and a leader who was all powerful. Hut building? Cooking? Please that was beneath them!

Finally dinner was served and the children began eating hungrily. Eventuall they all began talking about their ordeal and the decision that must be made tomorrow.  As more and more children began questioning Hansel and his new path he and his group became louder and ever more angry! They tried to convince the others of the folly of following this proven path of policies that gretel kept referring to and insisted over and over that what was needed here was CHANGE!

As it became clear the Gretel children were not just going to blindly follow along hansel had an idea. He gathered some of his most loyal children and went into one of the huts where they began mixing up a batch of cool-aid with the aid of some very special mind control berries he had found in the forest. Hansel instructed the children to start passing the cool-ade out and told them to drink some themselves as it was very tasty. He told them to make sure everyone got a glass, especially Gretel!

Gretel took the glass and thanked the children and Hansel, surprized that they had actually decided to pitch in for the good of all! As she raised the glass to her lips she suddenly smelled something strange! She thought she recognized that smell as she had drank Repugnican cool-aid once when she was young! Alarmed she dumped it on the ground and she started warning the kids. Hansel quickly saw what was happening and called her over saying that he really needed to discuss tomorrow’s meeting with her.

Although she did want to discuss the meeting she also wanted to protect the children but Hansel took her by the arm and along with two of his kids they led her away from the group. As she protested he told her not to worry he would have the kids warn the others about the cool-ade. Boy was he glad Gretel had known about those berries! Hansel winked over his shoulder to let the kids know he would take care of Gretel they needed to keep pushing the cool-ade!


Well folks my coffee just wore off and I do have chores so I’ll have to leave off here for now. Check back for Part 4 soon!


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If you have not read Part 1 yet scroll down to the next post. Or if you got here by link or even if you are just lazy and don’t want to scroll down here’s a link to part 1.

 https://caffinequeen.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/hansel-and-gretel-tale-of-the-lost-children/ Part 1

As the Children listened to Hansel and Gretel they began to talk amongst themselves. Some of the children wanted reasurrances that Hansel’s new path was real and whether or not it would lead them home. They had listened carefully to both plans and they couldn’t help noticing that Gretel’s plan was tried and true. She had a proven and well marked trail of policies that definitely led home. She had told them that the Repugs could come back and she knew how to outsmart them.

On the other hand some of the children liked Hansel and his plan better. It sure sounded much easier! Plus who wants to be out of style right? This Hansel guy he was handsome and charming and COOL! He said Gretel was out and he was in so what’s the problem they asked? This is the NEW path, the NEW leader and the NEW way of doing things!

The other children reminded them that nobody had ever seen let alone been on that NEW path and more importantly nobody knew for sure where it would lead. They reminded their friends that at least they knew Gretel could  get them home. She knew the way! They reminded them that Gretel got herself and Hansel here and found them didn’t she? Surely if he knew the way he would not have had to rely on Gretel for directions. Would he? They tried to convince the other children that there are more important things than being cool.

Things like finding the way home instead of someplace we would not recognize substituted for home. Keeping the Repugs from their constant robbing and pillaging. Making sure that everyone can have the things that they need the most like healthcare and kids that get to grow up and NOT get shot or blown up by IEDs.  Economic policies that actually work for everyone and environmental policies that protect one of our most precious assets. The planet and the life on it. (Including all of us!)

The other children started shouting and shoving! They only wanted Hansel and his cool, new path. They said they really didn’t care that much about getting home anyway! They wanted change! They weren’t too sure about Arugula, but they definitely wanted change. They weren’t really sure why or what change just that they wanted change! They were sure it was a great idea even though they had no idea where they were going.

The children who wanted to follow Gretel’s proven path began asking Hansel questions about this new path and this change. What exactly did Hansel want to change and why?

Well! Hansel did not care much for questions or answers or details! He was insulted that they had dared to ask! He told them that they should just have complete trust in him and just follow him over that cliff there.

GRETEL: “Wait Hansel! You can’t do this! You’re going the wrtong direction entirely! Don’t take the children that way! It’s dangerous! It’s irrisponsible! Please try to think this through!”

HANSEL: “Gretel you need to quit raining on my parade! It’s obvious that you’re a girl and a racist and you can’t be trusted! Now please get out of the way! I’m trying to lead my fans, oops I meam the children.”

GRETEL’S GROUP OF CHILDREN: “Wait Hansel! You can’t really expect us to just follow you down some unproven path towards who knows where! We are not going and we are not going to let you take our friends that way either! We must stick together if we are to make it home through these dangerous woods! Who knows where the Repugs are hiding or what they have in store for us?”

HANSEL: “Well you just don’t know me yet otherwise you would love me! Come on guys Gretel is old and a girl and she’s a racist you don’t want to listen to her! I mean what are you guys racists too?”


As the group was almost evenly split they decide they should have a meeting and decide what should be done. This meeting would settle things once and for all!


Tune in next time for part 3! Discuss, critique or just have a laugh or two.


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